July 25, 2012 by thebookslayer
Those Awkward moments when you read something and think, ‘Wow, that was uncomfortable.’ You know that you have been there. Well I wanted to give those awkward moments the spotlight they deserve. I am sure if you have read the books or seen reviews of these books mentioned you might be familiar with these, but why not give them their own special post! Who doesn’t need a laugh now and again esp. with all the drama in the blogging world.
Awkward Moments You Wish You Could Un-Read
1. Fifty Shades of Gray by E.L. James
Tampons – No Problem
He reaches between my legs and pulls on the blue string – what?! – and gently pulls my tampon out and tosses it into the nearby toilet. Holy fuck. Sweet mother of all… Jeez. And then he’s inside me… ah! Skin against skin… moving slowly at first… easily, testing me, pushing me… oh my. I grip on to the sink, panting, forcing myself back on him, feeling him inside me. Oh the sweet agony… his hands clasp my hips. He sets a punishing rhythm – in, out, and he reaches around and finds my clitoris, massaging me… oh jeez. I can feel myself quicken.
“That’s right, baby,” he rasps as he grinds into me, angling his hips, and it’s enough to send me flying, flying high.
…… I remember that I have my period.
“I’m bleeding,”I murmur.
“Doesn’t bother me,” he breathes.
“I noticed.” I can’t keep the dryness out of my voice.
He tenses slightly.
“Does it bother you?” he asks softly.
Well it sure as hell bothered me. That just can’t be sexy. I am sorry but … Yuck!
2. Twilight by Stephenie Meyer
Stalking is Romantic
“That was the first night I came here. I wrestled all night, while watching you sleep, with the chasm between what I knew was right, moral, ethical, and what I wanted.”
As we all know he was there watching her every night.
3. Hush, Hush by Becca Fitzpatrick
Trying To Kill You Means I Love You
Nora : “You tried to kill me that night, didn’t you? But something went wrong. Then you made me think my cell phone was dead, so I couldn’t call Vee. Did you plan to kill me on the ride home?”
Patch : “I put a thought in Coach’s mind to redo the seating chart because I needed to get close to you. I made you think you fell off the Archangel because I wanted to kill you, but I couldn’t go through with it. I almost did, but I stopped. I settled for scaring you instead. Then I made you think your cell was dead because I wanted to give you a ride home. When I came inside your house, I picked up a knife. I was going to kill you then.”
Back and Forth banter. Nora panics and can’t breathe. He tells her too and she does. Then Nora asks for a leap of faith and wants to see some of his secrets by touching where his wings used to be. Why oh why didn’t she run?
4. Valiant by Holly Black
Two Timing Boyfriend
I can’t find the quotes because I never owned this book but I remember the scene and it was so disturbing that I stopped reading right there.
Valerie walks in to her house and finds out that her boyfriend is screwing her mother. I am telling you it is just sick. I vomited in my mouth and yes the thought turns my stomach. Then her mother, being the awesome mom that she is, gives her this advice…
“She thought of something her mother had told her when she’d finally broken up with one of her most dysfunctional boyfriends. When a man tells you he’s going to hurt you, believe it. They always warn you and they’re always right.”
Yes, because the whole situation was the boyfriends fault. Fucked up I tell you.
5. Dead in the Family by Charlaine Harris
Maker Trumps All
“Appius Livius having sex with the kid can’t be helping Alexei’s mental health,” I said, since I simply couldn’t not say it.
“Please understand. In Ocella’s time, that was not a consideration,”Eric said. “Alexei would be old enough, in those times. And men of a certain station were free to indulge themselves with very little guilt or question. Ocella doesn’t think in the modern way about such things.” ….. “I can only tell you that I’m not having sex with my maker. But I would if he told me that was what he wanted. I would have no choice. “
I shudder at this whole no choice with sex thing. It really grosses me out. The only word that comes to mind starts with a R and ends with an E. Yup, that’s what I thought too.