Those Awkward Moments You Wish You Could Un-Read


July 25, 2012 by thebookslayer

Those Awkward moments when you read something and think, ‘Wow, that was uncomfortable.’ You know that you have been there. Well I wanted to give those awkward moments the spotlight they deserve. I am sure if you have read the books or seen reviews of these books mentioned you might be familiar with these, but why not give them their own special post! Who doesn’t need a laugh now and again esp. with all the drama in the blogging world.

Awkward Moments You Wish You Could Un-Read

1. Fifty Shades of Gray by E.L. James

Tampons – No Problem

He reaches between my legs and pulls on the blue string – what?! – and gently pulls my tampon out and tosses it into the nearby toilet. Holy fuck. Sweet mother of all… Jeez. And then he’s inside me… ah! Skin against skin… moving slowly at first… easily, testing me, pushing me… oh my. I grip on to the sink, panting, forcing myself back on him, feeling him inside me. Oh the sweet agony… his hands clasp my hips. He sets a punishing rhythm – in, out, and he reaches around and finds my clitoris, massaging me… oh jeez. I can feel myself quicken.

“That’s right, baby,” he rasps as he grinds into me, angling his hips, and it’s enough to send me flying, flying high.

…… I remember that I have my period.

“I’m bleeding,”I murmur.

“Doesn’t bother me,” he breathes.

“I noticed.” I can’t keep the dryness out of my voice.

He tenses slightly.

“Does it bother you?” he asks softly.

Well it sure as hell bothered me. That just can’t be sexy. I am sorry but … Yuck!


2. Twilight by Stephenie Meyer

Stalking is Romantic

“That was the first night I came here. I wrestled all night, while watching you sleep, with the chasm between what I knew was right, moral, ethical, and what I wanted.”

As we all know he was there watching her every night.

3. Hush, Hush by Becca Fitzpatrick

Trying To Kill You Means I Love You

Nora : “You tried to kill me that night, didn’t you? But something went wrong. Then you made me think my cell phone was dead, so I couldn’t call Vee. Did you plan to kill me on the ride home?”

Patch : “I put a thought in Coach’s mind to redo the seating chart because I needed to get close to you. I made you think you fell off the Archangel because I wanted to kill you, but I couldn’t go through with it. I almost did, but I stopped. I settled for scaring you instead. Then I made you think your cell was dead because I wanted to give you a ride home. When I came inside your house, I picked up a knife. I was going to kill you then.”

Back and Forth banter. Nora panics and can’t breathe. He tells her too and she does. Then Nora asks for a leap of faith and wants to see some of his secrets by touching where his wings used to be. Why oh why didn’t she run?


4. Valiant by Holly Black

Two Timing Boyfriend 

I can’t find the quotes because I never owned this book but I remember the scene and it was so disturbing that I stopped reading right there.

Valerie walks in to her house and finds out that her boyfriend is screwing her mother. I am telling you it is just sick. I vomited in my mouth and yes the thought turns my stomach. Then her mother, being the awesome mom that she is, gives her this advice…

“She thought of something her mother had told her when she’d finally broken up with one of her most dysfunctional boyfriends. When a man tells you he’s going to hurt you, believe it. They always warn you and they’re always right.” 

Yes, because the whole situation was the boyfriends fault. Fucked up I tell you.


5. Dead in the Family by Charlaine Harris

Maker Trumps All

“Appius Livius having sex with the kid can’t be helping Alexei’s mental health,” I said, since I simply couldn’t not say it.

“Please understand. In Ocella’s time, that was not a consideration,”Eric said. “Alexei would be old enough, in those times. And men of a certain station were free to indulge themselves with very little guilt or question. Ocella doesn’t think in the modern way about such things.” ….. “I can only tell you that I’m not having sex with my maker. But I would if he told me that was what he wanted. I would have no choice. “

I shudder at this whole no choice with sex thing. It really grosses me out. The only word that comes to mind starts with a R and ends with an E. Yup, that’s what I thought too.

Do you have any moments you wish you could forget that you read? Well if you do please share, we can comfort each other and laugh it off.

15 thoughts on “Those Awkward Moments You Wish You Could Un-Read

  1. Adina says:

    Oh the tampon, horrid scene – I’m squirming just reading it. I found numerous scenes in the latter Anita Blake books to be similarly awkward – I quit that series around book 13.

  2. Holy cow. That is horrifying. I love this list by the way.

    I think all of Of Poseidon was awkward moments I wish I could forget. UGH. It starts with the heroine tripping into the ‘hero’ with ‘serial killer eyes.’ She stands with her cheek pressed to his chest for like 20 minutes while thinking about how awkward it is that she just tripped into him. Yeah, it’s awkward. You know what’s more awkward? NOT GODDAMN MOVING.

    Here’s my number one scene, though. This one has haunted me since college.

    Prep – Curtis Sittenfeld
    The heroine discovers that her boyfriend and his other asshole/popular kid friends have been intentionally seducing all of the girls they can. Of course, part of the horror is that he had sex with her just as part of some marking off the ladies game. It should also be noted that she’s 14 or 15 at this point. So these are not college kids. High school. Fairly young high school. Also, the dude she was freaking out about is named Cross Sugarman. Really? I can hardly handle that.

    Still, the worst thing, the bit that haunts me, is that the boys explain to her that they have all of the girls categorized by the smell of their vaginas: they’re either fish or cheese.

    *shudders* I wish I could forget that.

  3. Awesome List!! And yes that tampon scene was so gross. I started skimming because I couldn’t handle it. It was so unnecessary! And it took her a while to remember her period, I mean as he slinging her tampon across the room it didn’t enter her mind?

    Your list was great. And its a fun topic.

    • Thanks. I forgot to add that awkward moment in City of Bones where Jace and Clary think they ate brother and sister. Yuck on so many levels.

      Thanks for stopping by.

  4. Liesel Hill says:

    Only one comes to mind: it was a a WoT moment when two people were linked and could feel each other’s emotions and sensations. Then one of them had sex with someone else. Awkward! Funny how all these moments involved some kind of sexual weirdness, huh?

    • Liesel, that reminds me of another one:

      It was in one of the Karen Chance UF books. There was this scene where the MC, who could leap into other people’s bodies, jumped into the body of this dude in the past. While he was in the midst of having sex with a lady. So she’s all, ‘oh hey, this is cool…I’m boning someone.’ It was somewhere on the border between WTF and entertaining. Still seemed worth of a mention.

      Oh, ALSO, there’s that part in Ghost (movie) or The Lovely Bones, where the MCs possess someone living so they can have romantic time with the people they like. That’s hella awkward.

    • That is really awkward. What book was it?

  5. my5monkeys says:

    OMG Yes to all the above. I hated Patch with a passion. What about Fallen series , that was just bad. Another bad guy was the Eternal Ones series, she was attracted to both guys , and reincarnation. That book bad on so many levels.
    I refuse to read 50 shades of Grey , but i am reading the Siren 🙂
    Um thats off my head

    • Fallen was horrible I agree. I can’t even tell you how many awful parts are in there as well. The Eternal Ones I have never read, thank goodness.

      I did enjoy The Siren. I actually have The Angel and am reading it right now. Talk about Taboo subjects. That book blows them all out of the water. Nothing is safe.
      Thanks for stopping by.

  6. […] 3. Those Awkward Moments You Wish You Could Un-Read […]

  7. Neyra says:

    OMG! *shudders* @ the tampon scene. Grossed me out when I read it the first time, grossed me out all over again, thanks Amanda -_____- Lol! Great picks though, definitely many awkward moments on this list, smh

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